A family report writer’s role is to assess your family dynamics and provide recommendations to the family court regarding your child’s best interests.
They are impartial professionals who gather information through interviews with both parents and, in some cases, the children.
When meeting with a family report writer in a family law matter, there are certain things you should avoid saying to ensure you present yourself in a fair and positive light.
Avoid making negative remarks about the other parent, fabricating stories, or displaying hostility.
Criticising the other parent excessively, attempting to manipulate the report writer, or refusing to engage in the process can harm your case. Instead, focus on being honest, cooperative, and child-focused throughout the interview.
Key Takeaway: The family report writer is not on anyone’s side—they are focused on what will benefit your child most.
Avoid Saying These to a Family Report Writer
1. Negative Remarks About the Other Parent
Criticising your former partner excessively can appear biased and unhelpful. While it’s important to share concerns, persistent negativity may seem like an attempt to manipulate the process.
Instead: Focus on describing the current parenting situation and any issues directly affecting your child’s well-being.
Key Takeaway: Focus on facts rather than personal attacks.
2. Exaggerations or False Claims
Making exaggerated claims or false accusations can severely damage your credibility. Family report writers are trained to identify inconsistencies, and dishonesty can undermine your position.
Instead: Present clear, factual information with evidence where appropriate.
Key Takeaway: Honesty reinforces your reliability as a parent.
3. Attempts to Coach Your Child
Telling your child what to say or attempting to influence their statements will often backfire. Report writers are skilled at detecting coached responses, which can harm your case.
Instead: Allow your child to speak freely and naturally during their interviews.
Key Takeaway: Trust that the report writer will focus on what’s best for your child.
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4. Refusing to Acknowledge Any Parenting Challenges
Denying that you’ve ever faced parenting struggles can appear unrealistic. Acknowledging past difficulties while demonstrating how you’ve improved shows self-awareness and growth.
Instead: Be honest about challenges but focus on how you are working to address them.
Key Takeaway: Demonstrating responsibility and growth can strengthen your position.
5. Speaking in Absolutes
Statements like “They never support the children” or “I always handle everything alone” may seem exaggerated or one-sided. The report writer may interpret this language as a sign of inflexibility.
Instead: Use balanced language that acknowledges the complexities of co-parenting.
Key Takeaway: Avoid extreme language to present a fairer and more accurate perspective.
6. Demonstrating Anger or Hostility
Becoming aggressive or confrontational can reflect poorly on you. The report writer assesses your emotional stability and ability to maintain a calm, positive environment for your child.
Instead: Stay calm, polite, and cooperative during the interview.
Key Takeaway: Composure shows you can manage stress effectively.
7. Refusing to Engage in the Process
If you’re uncooperative or unwilling to answer questions, the report writer may question your commitment to your child’s well-being.
Instead: Approach the process with openness and readiness to contribute positively.
Key Takeaway: Engaging fully demonstrates your focus on your child’s best interests.
How to Present Yourself Positively
Focus on Your Child’s Needs
Always frame your statements around what is best for your child. Emphasise stability, safety, and emotional support rather than personal grievances.
Key Takeaway: Keeping your child’s well-being as your priority will guide you through the process successfully.
Be Clear and Concise
When answering questions, be direct and avoid rambling. Providing clear answers helps the report writer understand your perspective without confusion.
Key Takeaway: Clarity makes your concerns easier to understand.
Provide Relevant Evidence
If you need to highlight concerns about the other parent, provide specific examples and, where possible, supporting evidence. Avoid making unverified claims.
Key Takeaway: Factual evidence is far more persuasive than accusations.
By avoiding negative remarks, dishonesty, or defensive behaviour, you can present yourself as a cooperative and child-focused parent.
Remember, the family report writer is there to understand your family’s situation and recommend what will best support your child’s development.